Friday, January 6, 2012

It's on the tip of my tongue

Q. Okay. And there was a person named Sara Smith. Do you know her last name?

A. No, I don't.

Submitted by: Pattie Walker

Definition of "twin"?

Q. How old is he?

A. John is --

Q. You said he's Joan's twin, right?

A. Right.

Q. So the same age as her?

A. Right.

Submitted by: Karen Campbell

Never underestimate a court reporter!

The expert was speaking extremely fast ...

A. The first response is the release of polypeptide hormones, including gastrin and cholecystokinin-pancreozymin which promote gastrointestinal motility, hypertrophy of the intestinal mucosal cells and increased intestinal secretion --
(Addressing the court reporter) Are you struggling, darling?

Submitted by: Carmelita Lee - the court reporter who obviously was NOT struggling

Sunday, February 27, 2011

If these pages could speak...

MR. ORSHAN: Objection, document speaks for itself. I'll repeat that every time.

Go ahead.

MR. ROGERS: I always hear that, but these documents never talk.

Two places at once?

Q And were you home when you went to the liquor store?
A I couldn't be home if I went to a liquor store.

Submitted by: Kendra McNack

I'm never getting out and you can't make me!

Q. Did you ever look at the rear of this car?

A. No.

Q. Never?

A. No, I didn't get out of the car.

Q. Well, you are here today so at some point you got out of the car. Right?

A. No, I didn't get out.

Q. I'm sure at some point after this accident occurred, you opened the door and climbed out of the car. Right?

MR. JONES: I will stipulate he is not in the car now.

Submitted by: Sharon Meyer

Pick a language, any language.

ATTORNEY: What is your name?
INTERPRETER: (in English) What ... is ... your ... na-ame?
ATTORNEY: You're talking to him in English.

Submitted by: Karen Campbell